I can't really sleep so I decided to make a post here. I should say last night, Douglas MSN with me and asked me out for dinner at Delicious, Mid Valley at 8.30pm. I'm thrilled to be seeing him soon after he come back home (even though he actually reached KL in the morning but he took some sleep in the afternoon). I'm happy because he did come and meet me up at the very day he is back. I was thinking that I'll most probably seeing him on Saturday instead of "yesterday".
Although he told me that it's because his BF having a fashion show which give him the opportunity to come and meet me up the very day (Yes, I do pretty upset and jealous - I admit I'm evil), I'm still glad that he makes it for me. But to think of it, he is trying to be honest with me. I should be glad too.
He did brought me Shiseido Zen perfume but I guess it's the different one from the one I put on my skin that he smelling me off (the sample that I got from August magazine as it's Shiseido Zen for Men). However, it's still very sweet of him. He is the first guy I know that actually brought me a perfume (although one of my ex-BF did, but that was just a fake one - cost less than RM50 for 100ml with no brand). The Hershey's chocolate is the sweetest (maybe because I love chocolates). But nothing of these sweeter than he spending a few hours with me at Delicious and at my room.
Oh yes, the best part of course it's in my room. Yeah, naughty us. I can't resist not to hug him as I'm dreaming for it even before he came back to KL. I can't resist my lips not on his. I felt like cracking his bone (of course I didn't manage to do it, he is tough and I can't imagine hurting him).
We did sex, oral at first and then later we did anal. I wasn't planning for it so I didn't get a pack of condom in my room. I know unprotected sex is not that good, but maybe I do really love him and I don't care about it (Well, I did enjoy barebacking with him, and God, it was so amazing - I can't believe that I'm sharing this). The best thing of all was something that he said, although I'm not sure he meaning it or not (I hope he does because I do really love him), but it is the most touching words that came out of his mouth, eventhough I'm the one who signal him to tell me that. It just 3 word, "I love you" and keeps me awake till now. It's like a battery, keeps me moving.
Although I'm someone that can't be seen, not official somebody to him, gonna play hide and seek, maybe the toughest love journey I ever had so far, but then it is really meaning so much to me that he is with me. I don't know how long could I able to stay by his side. I don't know how much more time he could spent with me, but I hope it's forever. I might be selfish, might be unfair to his BF, might hurt a lot of people, might be the worst person ever, but all I can say is I'm doing this because I truely love him. All I hope in return is just that he truely love me once.
I guess that's it. I better go to sleep, it's 3am already. I don't want to get a "panda eyes" tomorrow. There is so much I wanted to tell him but everytime I think of him, or sees him, I forget what I wanted to say already. Seeing him is the luckiest thing happen to me right now. I hope I can dream of you, your smell is all over my bed. I guess I'll have a good sleep tonight. Muakz.. ^^
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