Disappointed..

I was suppose to be meeting him today for gym. It is something that we talked about last time which we will be going to gym together every Saturday. But then last night, he SMS'ed me telling me that it might need to be around 3pm only we can go for gym. He got to attend to the Astro crew to install Astro services to his room.

Yesterday, I did really jealous although I know I should not. He already spend the evening with me on Thursday, the very day he came back to KL. So it's fair that he spent full day for his boyfriend. But then knowing that they having dinner and I can't disturb him makes me feel a little uneasy. My selfish part come into action. The worst is actually this morning where he replied me that he is having brunch with his boyfriend. Maybe I take it as Saturday is my day kind of thing. Just forget it. It's stupid to thing about how I actually get jealous.

But then the worst thing of all is I think he can't accompany me at all today. The installation of Astro took longer time that he expected. So he told me that we cancel the workout session at gym and go for dinner instead. It's not a bad idea but then tomorrow is my sister's birthday. My mother already brought ticket of four for the whole family to catch a movie that my sister want to watch it most. It starts at 9pm. How am I going to having dinner with him if he told me to have it at 8pm?

So, he continues to be busy with his stuff and I guess he would not have time to see me too. Well, I have my family to entertain as well. Later when I'll busy to accompany my family, he will only be free to have dinner with me which I can't turn up to. I wonder after the show, will he spent some late hours with me? Or perhaps will he spent whole Sunday with me as compensation? There are things that I wanted to share with him and I do really miss him. Selfish me wanted him to accompany me as much as possible.

Just know Charles did call me awhile. He asked me why not I'm out yet? I told him that he is busy so perhaps the outing is cancel. Charles knows nothing about him but I told him that I love him even though I know he have boyfriend already. So he told me, maybe this is a sign of me not having the fate with him. Although it sounds superstitious, but then I do wonder, will my fate with him can last for a longer period. I do hope that we can last but at times I do believe that it is all depends on fate.

God have given me the chance to know him, to love him, to be with him, and I should be grateful. I know He loves me, but I don't know how much more time is He granted him to me for. I do hope for a longer period, but even if the days is short for me, all I pray for is just to have more time to spent and to be with him.