That Terry guy I mentioned earlier in my blog, he is kinda weird. Is he avoiding me or something? I'm not thinking about relationship with that guy but then I just wanna be friend with him. Just felt that he is avoiding me some how or rather.
I've been sms-ing him and calling him few times already to ask him for a drink or dinner with me this weekends. However, he didn't reply my sms at all nor answering my call since yesterday. He picked up the call and told me he is driving, but then after that, he didn't call back nor answering my call. Today I call him almost 4 times, from afternoon till just now, but he didn't answer.
Maybe he is avoiding me, or something is really bad happened to him. LOL. Not that I'm desperate for him but then can't he be nice? Even friends don't do that thing to friend. If he thinks I like him somehow and he wanna get rid of me, then be honest. Actually, I don't even have the feeling with him yet. I don't think I did anything that makes him thinks that I like him somehow. Maybe I'm annoying to him. LOL. Just forget it if he don't wanna make friend with me.
Although I'm kinda desperate for a lover, but I don't think that I'm aggresive till that extent. Time passes kinda fast. It's been around 2 months already that I'm a single guy, waiting for some right guy for me. Just want some right guy for me. Not anybody (as in uncles and those not my type at all) but somebody. LOL.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Loneliness
Lately, I blog more in this blog then my pioneer blog as I have so much love life things to blog then normal things to blog about. Today, loneliness is kinda killing me. Practically doing nothing after my dinner. I mean after my dinner, I went up to my room and play Cabal Online to kill time. I don't wanna fight for the TV with my mum and sister. So better stay in my room do other thing.
After awhile, I felt bored with the game. You know those online RPG game, just killing those monster to level up your character. After some time, you also feel bored right? So I ended up listening to songs and chatting with friend. But then looking back at the MSN list, there ain't much people I can really chat with. Most not really close already.
I saw my high school friends, like Ching Fui, Wei Jian, etc. but then I don't know what to chat with them as I'm emotional now. I can't chat with them those PLU stuff. Same goes to my UTAR friend. Only 3 of them online. Also can't chat this PLU stuff with them. Cut down all of those, left those PLU friends. However, most also busy. Only Afiq is chatting with me. Andy also less respond to me. We like nothing much to chat also. Maybe he is busy with him life there. I also can't always chat with Afiq. Kinda run out of topic with him already.
Andrew and John is available but then I don't have topic to chat with them. Andrew is watching his drama, while John is that Singapore uncle that wanna dates me earlier on. I don't wanna face those uncertainty. Steven is away. William, Derek and Yew Chai, all having their status as busy. Although Derek did reply me, but then he is busy with him work as he is having his own business, I can't be there chatting with him as I'm feeling as if I'm disturbing him. Don't wanna make him felt that I'm annoying.
Anyway, I think previously I have wrong signal on Terry. I don't think he is that interested in me. As yesterday, he did MSN with me, and we did went to Cineleisure for movie as he ask me to accompany him. Maybe after the date, he saws me so faint hearted watching that Blood: The Last Vampire. Today, he didn't reply my sms where I thought of asking him for a walk at the night market around my area. I haven't really walk around the night marker in my area for so long. But then he didn't reply me all my sms also. I did called him to ask, and he reply me that he is tired and he is eating his dinner already. So I better ignore him for now. Don't wanna make him think that as I'm so interested with him and so annoying. I just hope a friendship only.
If only things get better then I can think about further the relationship. However, like my previous post, I think I'm gonna be single for some time more. I don't think got people really interest with me except those uncles which there is no chance that I can take it.
After awhile, I felt bored with the game. You know those online RPG game, just killing those monster to level up your character. After some time, you also feel bored right? So I ended up listening to songs and chatting with friend. But then looking back at the MSN list, there ain't much people I can really chat with. Most not really close already.
I saw my high school friends, like Ching Fui, Wei Jian, etc. but then I don't know what to chat with them as I'm emotional now. I can't chat with them those PLU stuff. Same goes to my UTAR friend. Only 3 of them online. Also can't chat this PLU stuff with them. Cut down all of those, left those PLU friends. However, most also busy. Only Afiq is chatting with me. Andy also less respond to me. We like nothing much to chat also. Maybe he is busy with him life there. I also can't always chat with Afiq. Kinda run out of topic with him already.
Andrew and John is available but then I don't have topic to chat with them. Andrew is watching his drama, while John is that Singapore uncle that wanna dates me earlier on. I don't wanna face those uncertainty. Steven is away. William, Derek and Yew Chai, all having their status as busy. Although Derek did reply me, but then he is busy with him work as he is having his own business, I can't be there chatting with him as I'm feeling as if I'm disturbing him. Don't wanna make him felt that I'm annoying.
Anyway, I think previously I have wrong signal on Terry. I don't think he is that interested in me. As yesterday, he did MSN with me, and we did went to Cineleisure for movie as he ask me to accompany him. Maybe after the date, he saws me so faint hearted watching that Blood: The Last Vampire. Today, he didn't reply my sms where I thought of asking him for a walk at the night market around my area. I haven't really walk around the night marker in my area for so long. But then he didn't reply me all my sms also. I did called him to ask, and he reply me that he is tired and he is eating his dinner already. So I better ignore him for now. Don't wanna make him think that as I'm so interested with him and so annoying. I just hope a friendship only.
If only things get better then I can think about further the relationship. However, like my previous post, I think I'm gonna be single for some time more. I don't think got people really interest with me except those uncles which there is no chance that I can take it.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Cross Road Again...
I'm in cross road again. I know life should go on but I'm not sure I'm ready for it already or not. One road is that I'll just wait for the person I'm so sure that I love him but then the outcome of this choice might be devastating. I might get hurt badly if the thing that I hoped so long didn't blossom the way I wanted to be.
Another road is to go with the flow. Whoever that comes into my life, I just give it a try if I think it's not so bad to give it a chance. However, I felt somehow guilty to the person I very most like about. But then I think if the person I give chance really work the way it is, then this person that I waited for or the first road I mentioned will be a history in my story.
Recently, I rejected the Indian guy, Saran, so I guess there is no more obvious admirer around. Those indirect ones, (those that I think they have hint me some way or sent me signal of somehow) I think got a few. Jetky, Noel, and Terry are in the list.
Well, Jetky is my buddy since I'm still 20. We always been buddy and I prefer the way it is. I don't hope to change it. You know, best friend is harder to lose. I don't think we match in term of relationship, so I better don't start, preventing lost of friendship later. Recently, I think he hints me somehow by asking me when I wanna be his darling or when I wanna marry him. LOL.
Noel, he is just like my elder brother. Well, he is nice, always treating me for food just like Jetky. However, I really don't have feeling for him. Maybe I mind his appearance. He is half bald, with a big belly, look like almost 40 where he is still 33. I think I'll just remain the friendship with him that's alright.
Lastly, Terry, a guy that I know recently from Axcest. He send me mail there asking me to add him in MSN. Chatted with him somehow, feeling that he is kinda nice also. But then I'm not so sure or really know much about him still. I might need more time to evaluate this person. So details of him will be, he is 26, from Penang but working in Damansara, and life near SS2. I think he hints me somehow as well but then I'm not sure whether I got the wrong signal or not. Because he is not those very man, as in he is very gentleman but then not soft like me. So I'm not sure also. Even he likes me, I also don't know should I give it a try again or not.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Single for long long time
I guess I'm going to be single for long long time. Finally I managed to reject that Indian guy that waiting for me. I think we can still be friend. But I don't wanna care what it will be turn up to. I'm still confuse with myself what I really want. Maybe this Indian guy is a wake up call for myself to reconsider what I really want for myself.
Guess right now, I'll just free myself. Get myself knowing more people, new people but then not forcing into it. I'll just let people know me as in let them email me, or add me in MSN first before proceed to any friendship or what-so-ever.
I'm tired of looking new people to date, or potential so-called boyfriend. Because most of the time, those I fall into it, it doesn't blossom as I wanted to be. Maybe loving someone that love you more than you love him is better. Fate will guide us to where we suppose to be.
If I'm suppose to be with him, surely till that time, no matter what, I'll be with him finally too. So I let the time and fate guide me through.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Confused
After yesterday, I know there is no point to wait for Andy anymore. I think he have his life there and enjoy it there. I don't think I have anymore chances to be with him. Maybe the saying that the person you be with may not be the one that you truly love. So this saying may be right. As the person I love most now also unable to be with me and the future with him seems frail. I felt like I have nothing left. Even now, there are a few guys seems showing affection on me, but then mostly also didn't seems to have the potential to be some one that can win my heart yet. Maybe I need time to heal my wound yet to forget a person. Those admirers of mine also not to say that good for me also I guess. Maybe it's my problem. I guess I might ended up alone in my life.
Just these few days only, I'm so confused again. Like my previous blog, I mentioned about Jasson but then knowing that there is nothing between us. He have his boyfriend, so I need not to worry much as he will not come for me. He just have an affection to me only.
Well, today, I guess Jetky shows some affection to me also. Today he treats me for Sushi King. Then somehow he says things like I'm his eldest lover, or like ask me to be his wife so that he can supp me a credit card. LOL. But seriously, I have no feeling on him. He is a bit chubby, somehow ego, and I don't think I'll be having a nice relationship with him. Then Saram chat with me in MSN, he have feeling for me. *Sigh* I have no idea what to say to him. I didn't know how to reject him but then I didn't make him think that he have chances already. Let time prove that we won't work out. He just not my type, as in skin colour. Not racist but preferences.
Then a guy from Fridae.com, John, which from Singapore, 38 years old guy seems showing affection to me also. He is coming to KL this Friday. He asked me to meet him up and show him around KL. I think I'm okay with the touring around but then not more than that. I just don't take a guy, more than 35 years old as boyfriend. Furthermore I know nothing about him, and the distance is a biggest problem. I don't want to get hurt anymore. Andy is the biggest lesson I had, distance separating us apart and he chooses to let me go. Well, it's still hurt but then hopefully it heal through time.
Just these few days only, I'm so confused again. Like my previous blog, I mentioned about Jasson but then knowing that there is nothing between us. He have his boyfriend, so I need not to worry much as he will not come for me. He just have an affection to me only.
Well, today, I guess Jetky shows some affection to me also. Today he treats me for Sushi King. Then somehow he says things like I'm his eldest lover, or like ask me to be his wife so that he can supp me a credit card. LOL. But seriously, I have no feeling on him. He is a bit chubby, somehow ego, and I don't think I'll be having a nice relationship with him. Then Saram chat with me in MSN, he have feeling for me. *Sigh* I have no idea what to say to him. I didn't know how to reject him but then I didn't make him think that he have chances already. Let time prove that we won't work out. He just not my type, as in skin colour. Not racist but preferences.
Then a guy from Fridae.com, John, which from Singapore, 38 years old guy seems showing affection to me also. He is coming to KL this Friday. He asked me to meet him up and show him around KL. I think I'm okay with the touring around but then not more than that. I just don't take a guy, more than 35 years old as boyfriend. Furthermore I know nothing about him, and the distance is a biggest problem. I don't want to get hurt anymore. Andy is the biggest lesson I had, distance separating us apart and he chooses to let me go. Well, it's still hurt but then hopefully it heal through time.
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