I Don't Know What Am I Feeling

I'm not sure will he be reading this, but then I wanted to voice out my my feeling which I'm not sure about. The very last call I get from him was almost 48 hours ago. It was Tuesday night that he called me after the dinner with Keith and him at Mid Valley. I remember he told me about watching movie with Keith on the following day. Well, he did replied my SMS yesterday when I got stuck by an idiot. I don't think that counts (if you know what I mean).

I don't want to SMS him too much, making it looks like I'm obsessive to him. But stopping myself not to think of him is really torturing. I've been thinking, is he having a good time with Keith yesterday? Have he thinks of me? A lot more questions pop up but then I just ignore it. I don't want to miss him so badly and makes him feel I'm too possessive or whatever negative things you can think of.

I understand yesterday situation, he needs to meet up Keith after gym for movie, perhaps tired and don't have spare time to contact me. Today, I waited for almost 14 hours after I woke up this morning for his SMS. Even a SMS will really boost up my day. However, I guess I'm just not that lucky. He must be busy over his work loads and he gotta spent some time after his workout with Keith. I think he couldn't spare an evening in weekdays for me this week (or perhaps the following weeks as well) as he wanted to (as he told me if he can make it on that Sunday in The Garden's parking lots).

Today already Thursday. I wonder Saturday still on or not. Will it be as usual, 9am meet at Fitness First, The Curve or like previous, meet at 2pm? Or is there any changes of plan? Do I still have the Saturdays? I'm feeling so lost as I don't dare to disturb him too much, making him feels like I'm giving him too much pressure. I love him, that's why I dare give him pressure just because I wanted to see him so much as I miss him so much. It's like I don't mind praying to God that I'm willing to exchange a few years of my life just to let me be with him for another day.

Forget what I'm trying to say. I don't get myself very clear too. I'm not thinking straight. I guess I just have to wait for his SMS or call then. I don't hope he forget about me only. Hope to see you soon, my sweet heart.