Emo Yesterday, Missing Him Today

Yesterday I was being emotional thinking of the issue of him might be leaving to Singapore for National Service which he needs to serve in order to get the citizenship there. Although it's not a confirm issue, but it does makes me wonder a lot of things.

I thought of what will we turn out to be when he is not in Malaysia, will our relationship turns to be less close or even worsen, etc. My life without him will most probably perish as my life will crash back to the dull life I had before him.

Thinking of the life I had before him, I almost wanted to cry. It was so lonely that it can make me feel the goosebumps around me. My days back then, I am desperate to get people to accompany me. Because not all friends able to attend to me as they may have partner or other things to attend to rather than to me except they are single and yet not dating. LOL.

Anyway, I am still not sure what will be the outcome if he leaves. The song sung by LeAnn Rimes, titled "You Light Up My Life" struck me. There is so much memories that I can recall of the time we have been together. He really do light up my life and give me hopes in a lot of things that happened around me. I really have no idea how am I suppose to live without him around.

I just hope everything turns out to be good and nice. I do want him to be happy and for myself, I hope I am too. What I know right now is that I am missing him as always. I just seen him last evening for a light dinner and chocolate drink session at coffee beans. However, my mind is still full of him almost all the time.

I guess he is at the gym earlier, but then I do not want to disturb him. Knowing that lately he is having lots of stress from work as his product is launching this week, this Friday. I wonder he will be able to cope with the work loads or not. I really worried about him and I do not want to bother him with my emotional side.

I do wish to see him more often before he is going to Hong Kong. Well, I know that I will be seeing him when he gets back too, but the urge of seeing him more just pops out. I do really hope there will be a time that I can actually stay by his side, cuddling with him or even sleep by his side again. I misses the good time we had during CNY this year. I really have no idea why am I loving him so much.