Lately, I have been working overtime for nothing. I mean without pay due to the cases that I got lately is incredible tough to process and the system making me look like an idiot and causes me not to meet up with my quota of the day. The result, working overtime without pay.
Anyway, thanks to Doug, I had a great night with him on Friday, which means yesterday watching Alice in Wonderland at Cineleisure. So it does cheer me a little bit for the week except for things that going on for this weekend. Well, it totally slip off my mind at the first place but my mother just reminded me on Thursday about it.
It's my cousin's wedding. Well, it's not the interesting thing to be in. I personally hate to attend such dinner (not exactly hating it but feeling uneasy) because I know no one there. Not as if I am that close with my cousin, which he is already aged more than thirty.
Ended up, I guess I can't be there to the group that Doug was talking about since this Monday as it is. Probably I will be meeting up with the rest later at night. I am feeling pretty rush for everything that I wanted to do. My intuition tells me that I might having some difficulty to join the group this week.
As usual, my mother always wants to be following that old tradition or so-called manners. For example, going for relatives certain events, helping out the relatives for certain things, and all those Chinese old customs that so-called giving face kind of shit. For instance, my mother woke me up so that I could helped my aunt to drive her car to fix the flatten tyre just now.
Later, I have to fetch my younger cousin from The Garden and have to drive all of them to KL for the wedding dinner. By the way, I do feel pretty tired of all this. There are certain times that I felt that I'm to bound to what my mother expect me to do. I do hope that she could drop some to my elder brother than pushing it too much on me.
Anyway, if I am able to meet up with Doug tonight at the group, I will be seeing his boyfriend as well. I do not know whether this will be something good or not as in I am having such a bad days lately. Will I be jealous or upset if I am not able to control my emotion as before? I do not want to make a scene there and trouble him.
I have no idea why suddenly I do think of him and I do think of us. I miss him right now as I do feel that I needed him so badly because all the things that I have gone through lately and I am not feeling that well today. At the same time, I do not dare to disturb him or even text him, which might cause his boyfriend to make a fuss about it and he will be having the hard time.
I have no idea where I am standing right now. I only know that he is very important person to me. I feel that I surpass the normal friend level but I am not even close to be a lover level to him. So where do I stand right now? Best friend? I do not feel the same for a best friend. Lover? I am not his boyfriend. I guess I am emotional at the moment which makes me think of stupid thing. Lets drop it.
No comments:
Post a Comment