Exactly 3 weeks from now will be my birthday. I am still not sure how it will turns out to be. I do not even have the gut to think about it, not to mention to have expectation on it either. It's been not that interesting or it does not turns out to be that good for past few years.
I do still remember the first time I promised myself to celebrate my birthday every year, which is when I am still 18 years old. I did celebrated at Redbox with some schoolmates and some tuition-mates. The following year, celebrated at school with classmates, which was a simple one. My 20th birthday, it was at Wong Kok Char Chan Teng, near my area with Form 6's friends.
My 21st birthday was special as I celebrated at home, family made it happen for me, which out of ordinary because I did invite my course-mates, my high schoolmates and as well as gay friends. It's the first time ever I did such thing and celebrated with some gay friends although I did not know them all, since some of them were my ex-boyfriend's friends.
I guess after that, my birthday seems rather not that special anymore. The following year, my ex forgot about my birthday and went to gamble at Genting. It's only my best friend, BH and Thava were there for me, having a 'yum cha' session with me.
My 23rd birthday, I have already broke up with my ex, and I did celebrated with a guy who wanted to date me. However, it's a cheap date where he dined with me at Steven cafe, which is literally a high class mamak stall. LOL.
Here it goes all my celebrations that I gone through and I think it's not likely to have such special time again or memorable ones as always. I don't find that high schoolmates and course-mates are that close to me anymore to celebrate my birthday as it does not happen to me at all this few years except for BH. He did at least have a drink with me.
I wonder how it will turns out to be this year. Will I be alone this year? Will he celebrate with me alone? Or will it be nobody actually care about it? I know my mother will not really bother much and especially my brother. Probably my sister will wish me birthday.
I think I crap a lot here tonight. Probably I am jealous of him since he is coming to KL and meeting Doug up. So I have no chance of meeting him up for gym. Or maybe I am stressful lately as I always tends to get those tough cases to handle at work and I am wanting someone to pamper me. Whichever it is, I think I am so lame. Lord, do make me stronger. Amen.
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