I took the most principal breaking gamble in my life, to fall in love again. But this time, it's a person that I don't know that I will be able to be with forever but I know I love him forever. We both agreed to start our relationship with some terms and conditions.
I don't know is my decision is right or wrong, whether agreeing in such condition is what I want or not, but I know it's against my norm. However, looking at my surrounding, almost all gay guys are animal themselves. I mean the animal instinct that resides in their soul.
Only a small fraction of gay guys that are truly loyal to their partners and never cheat on them. I will say 95% not in that region. So that makes only 5% of gay guys are happily loving couple that are meant for each other.
How about the 95%? Well, 30% will still ended up having relationship, but still cheat behind their partner's back. I knew it because my ex-boyfriend did so. My pet brother did it too. Some of my friends did that too. That's how I know it, it's the animal instinct of having different sex partners.
The remaining 55% of gay guys, out of 20% are those who in open relationship or having more than one partners and happy with it. They are those that officially letting their partners to have someone else and they themselves having someone else too. The remaining 35% are those who totally looking for fun, no string attached at all.
So, thinking for a long period of time, since I love him, and I know that he loves me too. Just that I know that I will never be able to lock him physically for me only. I think I have to let him do what he will be doing but closing one eye about it if I want him to be mine.
Just like history, or current life. Men seems to love the concept of having many wives or girlfriends. The emperor has many wives and concubines. The Muslims can have 4 wives. It's just an animal side of every men.
Thus, I decided to let him do what he wants, just that he has to love me one and only one. Sexually, I granting him the opportunity to go for someone else provided it's just for fun with condom, and no string attached at all.
I'm still digesting this whole thing. I think I do need some time to get use to it but I don't think I do have a choice. Maybe you will say I do, by not doing so but I really love him and I needed him. It's not that there is another pure guy will wanted to be with me and he is the purest guy that will never will cheat on me.
I just hope that he will truly love me and never lie to me. That's the core of the relationship. I think I can try hard to forgive him for having sex out there with someone else. I just treat it as he find a whore, at least that doesn't seems to hurt so bad. But if he find someone else as boyfriend, I'm screwed.
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