Today, my head is like having a super earthquake that doesn't settle down. That pain is so uncomfortable that I don't seems to have appetite. I don't even think I can think straight.
Last evening I'm already having migraine. I thought by resting overnight, it should gone away but this time no. It's my 'old pal' visit me again. The old me, when I'm still at my previous organisation, I'll take medical leave.
Anyway, this whole day I'm like super moody, emotional and sick. Well, not so much of emo, but really easily get annoy because of the unpleasant feeling of my headache even after I took some drugs.
Since today I've to attend my cousin's wedding, I can't have him spending time with me. Well, I do miss him but thinking I should also give him some private time so I didn't sulk about it.
The whole day feels like super uncomfortable. To make it worst, at my cousin's wedding, my grand uncle made a scene at the wedding dinner. He is drunk and drop by my table and call us a bunch of 'fa guat long', literally mean a bunch of bad kids in a rude way.
Then asked us address him. The worst thing in Chinese culture, to address different granduncle, there is some kind of different address for different level. How am I suppose to remember where I barely even meet him, don't talk about talk to him.
Making a scene at my table is not enough. Later he swears to his sister's son-in-law, threaten that he will beat him up. Such an idiotic situation that I suddenly feel my relative is lack of self control and lack of education. I don't know what is to word to describe it.
Then I home after all this stupid experience at the dinner. I thought to share it with my boyfriend and of course wanted to sulk to him about my headache. Only because he picked up my call the second time I called, and it sounds like at pretty quite place (e.g. coffee house), then I know that he is having a drink with his friend.
But usually if I call him, if he is with his friend, he would tell me who he is. But then this time, he didn't. It makes me think of something fishy. I hate this feeling. To think that he is flirting with others make me feel I'm a lousy boyfriend. To treat it like I'm think too much, but he doesn't seems to be honest to talk about it.
Is there something wrong? I asked him in the afternoon what he is doing for today. He told me that he is going to church. After church, if he hangs out with church mate or someone else, why can't he just tell me about it. It sounds fishy to just briefly mention a little and say bye.
I felt abandoned. I'm jealous of Charles having a night at his boyfriend's place because his boyfriend is flying to HK tomorrow if I'm not mistaken. Mine doesn't seems wanting me to spend a night with him do much nor he will spend a night at my place.
I think I expect too much from him. That's what he will say most of the time. And if he does treat me good, he will say that he spoilt me. The are times that I don't know he understands me needs or not. If he understand, will he be able to be the provider? I'm really clueless, perhaps I'm just evading to answer it myself.
There is a few more thing that frustrates me now but I'm just gonna leave it. No point addressing it here as it doesn't help. I don't know how to put it in words temporary and I don't wanna think of it now too. I'm having severe headache again.
In short, I hate today. I hate that I'm useless and keep on having headache. I'm hate that I'm broke even more as I need to sponsor my sister. I hate today's wedding dinner when my grand uncle making a scene. I hate that I'm feeling left out a little by my boyfriend and he might be hiding things from me.
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