I never thought of this issue will come up in this relationship of mine with my current boyfriend. Perhaps I never encounter such problem with my ex-boyfriend other than he wanting it too often. It has become an unpleasant topic for me to discuss with him.
As for many couple, discussing about sex life is a very healthy thing. It does help to strengthen the relationship and the intimacy that you may desire in the future. It's important to sustain a healthy sex life as it sustain your relationship.
However, I found out that it might not be in my situation. My boyfriend seems to be a guy that loves to date more than one person but he will commit to one boyfriend (which is me) only. However, that doesn't mean that he won't date others and have sex. It will be more on the soft sex.
The problem not on how polygamy he will be. That is something I'm prepared of, or at least I'm aware of the danger before even commit to him. It's more on the quality of intimacy we will be. In fact, our sex life becoming less intimate.
What sadden me at times is that I don't know whether he is trying hard to make this relationship stable or not. He has thousands of things in his head which makes me feel that he won't have the time for me. There is so many other factors that I'll have to take into consideration at every given one time. I'm felt so stress sometimes trying to please him. I want him to be happy with me but it does makes me feel lack of something.
By the way, back to the sex part. We haven't have a great sex I think more than 5 months. Yes, we did anal recently but it's just very brief sex. I wasn't satisfy as I didn't even reach climax nor even started to enjoy it yet. But I can't force him to have sex with me if he don't feel having it.
I've tried to discuss it with him but we didn't go any further to solve this problem. He did mentioned that whether finding a sex buddy for me will help. But will it help? I'm thinking to wait for him to give me a good sex. But that doesn't seems will happen any sooner as he didn't seems to be able to do it. I have no idea about this.
Do we have to end up like my friend? Having a boyfriend that each can have fun outside but just remember the way back 'home'. Well, if both is top or both also bottom, I'm probably think that they have no choice. But me, do I need to be like that?
I wonder who can assist me in this matter? I don't think my boyfriend will be happy reading this journal. But I think I just have to voice out what inside of me. God bless.
No comments:
Post a Comment