I'm Paranoid or It's the Fact?

I'm not sure whether am I paranoid or it's the fact ar this moment. I hope it's me, who is being paranoid and it's not the fact. I've an intuition that he felt difficult or unease after having an official relationship with me. Am I that horrible boyfriend?

I've to admit that I'm emotional, I might be possessive, I sulk a lot, etc., but it's all because I care about that person and I love that person. I wanted to spend most of my time being with him. Probably no one really understand me. Lord, please bless me that someone really understand me.

I dreamt last night that he told me he feels really tired trying to find time for me. He has thousand of things to take care of, such as his family, his work, his political party, and his entrepreneur social group meetings and forum. He wanted to let go of me so that he don't need to struggle. It just a dream but it looks so real to me. Is that a sign or a prophecy?

The fact is that he is really busy with his work, political issues and the entrepreneur organisation activities. I do find that he has hard time to find some real solid time for me to go shopping with me, to chat with me about personal issue, or to do something together which is sweet. I don't dare to think about he will have time to go vacation with me. I always love to have such experience with him and I'll die for it. But let's drop the thought first.

Despite that I know that he won't have the time for me, I still do love him. I'm trying my best to understand him, to accept the way he operates, but I don't know he understands me or not. I felt that he doesn't want to tell me much about him. I'm feeling that I'm losing him somehow and that's worries me.

I don't want to lose him and I don't want to end this relationship. I'm just worried that he is giving up on me. I know the journey with him is a bumpy ride, perhaps I'll never get what I wanted to be. Seriously, I dare not to think about the future about us because I can't be sure what will happen. I just pray that he is in good health and happiness, and with God's grace, we will be able to flourish this relationship. Lord, please bless us.