I wonder how good it will be if I'm a wizard myself, or a witch. Somehow like Sabrina in the movie "Bewitched". I can use spell to make things the way I wanted it to be. But remain one thing that I'll will not be using any spell, which is love. I still want someone to love me naturally.
Lately, he is pretty busy with his work. Should I say partly? Well, regardless it's his job or his political agenda, or even his entrepreneur gang of people's gathering, it's part of his work already. Perhaps it's part of his life that we can't separate it. I'm not going to separate it or against it. Nothing is that serious.
For me, probably it's in my gene or DNA, a character of me which is not to be left alone in a environment full of strangers or not close relationship kind of people. I'll feel totally insecure and unpleasant. It's a bad thing for a sales person. I think that's why I don't like about doing sales in the first place last time. I don't know what job suitable for me already if I'm no longer at my current company.
Well, I can sense that even one of my superior is getting tired of his position already. I guess he will be leaving the company as well, it's just matter of time, when is it. It's sad to hear that a nice superior like him would want to leave. No doubt, most of us do feel great pressure working in our company. Well, I'm not going into that.
Lately, what's makes me carry on is that I keep telling myself that I'll have some great quality time with him when we go for our business trip this end of the month. Or else, I think that I'll even feel worst that he is not having much time for me. Well, I don't know how to illustrate it out. It's just simply that you spent some time with me and that it.
It's more on the quality of the time spend together. If the time we spend is about work, work and work, it's nothing personal quality time we actually spend. This what I felt lacking lately. He used to be a great guy, listens to my thought and we work out a lot of it. However, I just felt that he is too busy to care much for me.
He did spend on me in term of money, but time, not so much. I think he should have forgotten that he promised me that we shall be going for a facial session at Herbaline on the 16th this month, during Malaysia Day holiday. I bet he will have something on. It's either politic or some entrepreneur gang gathering. I believe that he even forgot that he promised me that he will accompany me go shopping at 1 Utama.
Maybe it's because he is so busy and caused him to forgotten so many things that he promised me yet most doesn't seems to be happened. I think I'll have to let it go and do it myself. Some thoughts should be even don't think about it. It's past. It will never be coming back.
Thinking of his birthday this year, I feel really bad as I never have the chance to celebrate it with him. The very first year I know him, he was celebrating with his ex-boy friend. The last year with family and as well as his ex-boy friend too. I don't have the privilege to celebrate with him. This year, I'm also fail to be celebrating it already. There is so many stuff that tied down his schedule.
Lord, please guide me. What should I do to make my life more positive and happy?
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