Being single for such a long time. I really long for a boyfriend that can share my up and down. Seeing Anthony with his boyfriend, Alvin that day and their couple friend, Alvin and Fred if I'm not mistaken makes me feel their happiness of having someone by their side.
For me myself, I have my family only. I do have Douglas that cares for me, but I can't ask for more than he can provide. By the way, he is already occupied with his job and his boyfriend. I don't want to burden him too much,
Today such a bad day for me somehow. Suppose to have lunch with Douglas. I thought that wait for him as usual. But then who knows he will need to have lunch with the management team. So I was late for lunch with my colleague. At the same time, the place I went for lunch having a massive jam. So I decided to double park to save time. Ended up getting a summon right now from local authority.
Although some said need not to pay, I still not sure is it really can ignore that summon. I wanted to find someone to talk about it, Douglas is having family time now. Some kind of sports he is having. Leon is kinda busy as always. He no longer spare his time for me since he is no longer interested with me. Only occasionally he will find me. Tomorrow, he asks me for a movie after so many times declined my invitation to go for a movie.
Others, I really have no idea who to talk to. Some friends I don't think I want to bother them too much. Either I don't want them to have the wrong signal or I don't think they will want to entertain me that well. Let's run to my contacts in my phone.
Eric, Elvin, Jeffrey, Noel, Wilson, etc., I don't want to give them wrong signals. No point telling them then they got the wrong signal. Either they thought they have chance or thought that I'm open up a chance to them or so. No doubt, since I mentioned I don't want them to have the wrong signal, because I don't have any feeling with them.
Anthony, Douglas, all of them already attached. Calling them also they have no time to entertain me as they need to spend time with their love one. I don't want to be their burden. Not to mentioned Charles, Edmund, Jetky, Julius, Jasson, Danny, etc. where they usually won't have much time to care about me. They also have their troubles and that's it. I'm not their interest, so they won't spend much time talking to me.
Not to be negative, but it's true that I can't always rely on them. Of course I'm still like a piece of meat on the freezer, frozen. There is no one who want to or seek me for the purpose of wanting a relationship with me, except for sexual fun. There is a possibility that I'm really bad. I doesn't seem that I'm going to have anyone interested to date me as a potential boyfriend material. It's been 2 years.
Financially I'm suck too. This summon I get today, if I need to pay up, I'm going to be dead. I'm already don't know how am I going to get a new pair of nice walking shoes and some new clothes for Chinese New Year. I haven't even include that I'm going to pay my study loan. I'm going insane soon.
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