I felt like I'm such an idiot. I having diarrhoea last night till today early morning as in till 3.30am. I think the diarrhoea stopped but my stomach still making funny feeling like having tornado inside of me. However I still drive all the way to my office and thinking to work. Well, taking MC is an option but I'm kind of broke lately. I think I want to save some cash for now. I don't want to owe Douglas so much which makes me even more frustrated.
Lately, I'm like a bitch. I think I'm like having some sex drive. Probably
I'm just horny since I didn't have a good sex life for so long. Not to mention that I don't have a boyfriend at all for now. I felt bitchy when I'm horny. At times I'm thinking of having random sex just to kill that drive. But is that all I want?
Writing blog during working hour is bad I know but I can't wait till tonight to blog it. Douglas will most probably not seeing this blog till kind of late. Probably tomorrow or even later. Somehow I feel like crap. Maybe I'm horny and longing for it yet I get nothing. No boyfriend yet stuck with my lousy life. I'm having hard time managing myself. Guys coming to me it's either they are too old or they are black or there must be something really annoying about him. Or else, I have none. Somehow I envy Bryan can attract so many of them.
Well, Bryan still have his youth, not like me. For a 24 year old bottom, it's like you will not be getting anyone to be interested with you because you are not compatible compare with the younger and cuter or hotter guys out there.
I'm frustrated with myself when I'm in need. I have no idea what I want to do. Casual sex just to kill lust? Find a decent boyfriend before even talking about sex? I'm sucks right now. Maybe lack of sleep makes me emotional and think of such stupid things.
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