Understanding

I believe that my relationship lack of understanding at times. We doesn't seems to have the same thinking or even able to know what each other needs in their heart. I don't mean mind reading but more on understanding that someone.

I believe I never fully understand him. He changes his idea, plans, etc. at a given period of time. That's all I know. Other than common things that he likes to eat, to drink, and hobbies, I found that I don't know much about his life. He seldom really talk to me about it.

Whereas me, I think I share so many stuff with him whether directly or indirectly about what I like and doesn't like. But it seems that he doesn't get it or perhaps always forget about it. I'm getting used to it and I have to or else huge disappointment again. I like pastor sermon regards to relationship. In one sense, you can't hope too much from a guy. They won't able to understand you.

He was me to be spontaneous. I wanted too but if I do, can he? I'm not spontaneous because I found it hard to have his time for me. I've plan ahead in order to have a confirmed time being with him. If I don't, I worry like last time, he will just forget about me and go on with his other stuff and I'll feel ignored.

Being spontaneous, does he do it too? I don't know. Things that I ask him, he will be spontaneous if he likes it. Well, toleration is crucial. He mentioned that if I'm spontaneous, he will be romantic. I doubt that actually. He is never those really romantic kind of guy. Like Charles, his boyfriend get him a soft toy when he get back to KL from his business trip. That's sweet.

Well, I shouldn't compare I know. I'm just giving a picture of what is romantic. You will do small little things to keep that someone feels that he is very important in your life and you treasure them. It might be small, but it's memorable. Other than small gift, it can be some trip, something that's memorable.

Seriously speaking, I know we won't have that. I've never go anywhere further than Klang Valley with him other than business related issue. Never been to places like Port Dickson, Melaka, Ipoh, Genting, Cameroon, iCity, Look Up Point, etc. I found that my memories with him rotate around gym, malls, restaurants, cinema, sauna, facial and spa centre, and church.

Lately I know that he found some revelation with God to walk to Christian path. Because of this, it does positively and negatively impact us. Positively, he is more loving person than before and he seems more monogamous and committed in the relationship. However, sex life become very dull to the extent that we haven't have sex approaching 2 months. We have no sex life, no fulfilment of sexual needs.

I know that he tried his best for me, but I just need him, to be proactive and makes me feel that he does want to spend time with me. I don't hope he just expect me to be with me when we both free and forget when we are caught up with our stuff. He is doesn't seems to able to do so, so be it. Like he have time to spend with me those important dates.