The most exciting part of the past 9 months from my last post will be that we travelled to Melbourne together, I caught him flirting with another guy and my feeling about him. It's just a summary of points that I'm going to talk about it.
The Melbourne trip was amazing. Who doesn't love travelling around. It's totally great for me as I can take a break from long work and I think I deserved that. However, it's mainly work as well to learn about the cafe business at Australia. Business issue again. I can't recall the last time we travel for fun for real. Well, the last one we travel for fun was to Gold Coast in 2010.
This year sweet memories of travelling with him shatters after my Taiwan trip. Should I say it's during my Taiwan trip and back here. I don't think I've healed at all. It's started because a guy, D texted me about his issue and his date, A, which linked to Douglas. Apparently he thinks Douglas bad mouth him to his date, A. The worst was he caught A and Douglas held hands while watching a movie in the cinema with him.
After listening to the story while I was having my vacation, I'm devastated. But I don't wanna influence me during my breakaway, so I decided not to deal with it till I'm home. When home, this issue has been dragged further as no one is willing to clear up this mess to me. At the end, I managed to get Douglas to spill out the truth, and the truth is A likes Douglas and Douglas himself play along with the flirting. So helding hands and feeding popcorn with A is real, not a joke or misunderstanding.
Douglas apologised to me, but I don't know why it hurts so bad that I turn to be cold hearted after that. I don't know because I don't trust him anymore or I shut down myself to him. After that incident, I don't know is t bad timing or what, we basically don't have much time for each other. With his schedule, I don't have much time with him anyway. Either a basic movie that we don't have time for dinner, or a lunch that he slips in for an hour or so in between his meetings that I don't know of. Well, he told me but I don't know to believe it's truth or not anymore.
To make matter worst for me, due to the whole flirting thing, I began to open up myself with new people for friendship and chat. He don't have time for me, why should u wait for him for it, he has to earn it. Well, I don't know. So I talked to D a little bit more nowadays and knowing new friends. Lately someone added me, and his name is Jxxx, let's named him J. Jnseems to show interest on me, but he is from Ipoh. That's pretty far and I'm not saying we have anything. Just that he while caring side of someone interested with you and find time to text you makes me feel good once again.
The spark with Douglas seems weak as I no longer get the same caring text message, and other sweet stuff from him. Maybe it's our financial issue, or his personally issue, or I don't know for whatever reason, I felt like I don't miss him as much. Because I'm tired to kiss someone that only text me like good night and good morning. Anything else will be about he business, and occasionally about doing things together. Perhaps he wanna earn more money,but I think he just lost me in the journey.
I began to not feeling the love from him much other than his words, some of his action to show that he still love me, but the core things I seek no longer there. Like he told me earlier that he will be busy the whole week except this Friday, and told me maybe we can have dinner together. I find that I'm just someone to fill in his empty gap or time. Well, I don't feel I'm important anymore.
I don't know is it my only problem or I don't love him anymore? I wish to know is it a phase or I'm too tired to fight for this relationship. Are we failing each other?
No comments:
Post a Comment